Almost 2 decades ago a great friend of mine
handed me a book. It
changed my life.
I have read this book so many times during so
many aspects of my life. It
has taught me so many lessons. The
idea of the book is about a woman who is faced with the pain of a break up but
really it is about so many things we all deal with. This book came to mind when I started thinking
about my new journey.
Basically, God comes down and teaches a woman a
new way of living. Simple basic principles
we all need to live by in order to live freely and authentically. These lessons are my goal for the year. I am striving to learn them and live
them. In part to help my similar life
and in part to heal my heart.
Do not build walls, for they are
dangerous. Learn
to transcend them.
So many people build walls. I am horrible with this. Absolutely horrible! You do wrong by me and I cut you out. And then I build up walls to prevent that same
type of person coming into it. It
is horrible because at the root of this you are hurting only yourself. I am working on this but it is so painful. I have an extremely difficult time forgiving
people. Or
I will let you in but keep a huge wall in between us so I won’t get hurt again.
One of my walls is everything is personal. Meaning everything which happens is ultimately
because I am a bad person. So
I have been trying this year to squash this. I will react as I always have and then come back
at a later point and say ok let me tell you the story I told myself in that moment. Is that what you meant? And you know what. It never is. I am never the reason someone is reacting. They
are telling themselves their own story and reacting off of their own
story. This
brings us to rule 2.
Live in the moment, for each one is precious and
not to be squandered.
I live in the future, I live in the past. So much over this year I have focused on living
in the now. This
is super difficult but my daughter is the first to knock me into the
present. She
gives you this look like hello; I am the only thing which matters and playing
with this ball right now. And
she is right. As
hard as it is to have a mirror all day everyday she is at least the cutest
little mirror ever made.
Take care of yourself, first and foremost!
I am a peacekeeper. Meaning I generally push myself to the bottom of
everything to ensure everyone else is happy. But this year I have begun to find my
voice. I
have begun to put my needs first. This
has been ugly let me assure you. I
have a mother in law I barely speak with, a husband who is learning hard
lessons, and friends who completely don’t understand me. But I feel good for the first time in
years. Although
this is really rule number 3 this has been my main focus this year.
Drop the ego. Be real. And watch what happens.
This rule I think I do. (For the most part, if I feel really comfortable
with you and know you are real.) I
am real. I
never beat around the bush when I talk to people. I am very authentic. I hate political correctness. Just tell me straight up what you are
thinking. I
just want to hear it. It
might be painful to hear but the truth is never hurtful. People who are fully of the ego don’t know how
to deal with people who are real. I
have seen my friendships grow by being super real with people. Also I see people shy away when I am super real
because they are not ready for it.
All things are possible all of the time.
I am a huge believer in this. You just have to be willing to work for what you
truly want. The
trick is knowing what you truly want. Some
people think the really know what they want and then they get it and not enough
thought was given to what they really wanted so they are miserable. So definitely be careful what you wish
for. I
am fortunate enough to be a person whose dreams all came true and am learning
to dream bigger.
Maintain Universal Flow. When someone gives, it is an act of generosity
to receive. For
in the giving, there is something gained.
I am a huge giver. Anyone who knows me knows this. I think it is definitely better to give. But I am a horrible receiver. I think it is too much and I am unworthy of it. So I need to remember this to keep my balance as
well.
