Life Authentic and Free

Almost 2 decades ago a great friend of mine handed me a book.  It changed my life.  

I have read this book so many times during so many aspects of my life.  It has taught me so many lessons.  The idea of the book is about a woman who is faced with the pain of a break up but really it is about so many things we all deal with.  This book came to mind when I started thinking about my new journey. 

Basically, God comes down and teaches a woman a new way of living.  Simple basic principles we all need to live by in order to live freely and authentically.  These lessons are my goal for the year.  I am striving to learn them and live them.  In part to help my similar life and in part to heal my heart.

Do not build walls, for they are dangerous.  Learn to transcend them. 

So many people build walls.  I am horrible with this.  Absolutely horrible!  You do wrong by me and I cut you out.  And then I build up walls to prevent that same type of person coming into it.  It is horrible because at the root of this you are hurting only yourself.  I am working on this but it is so painful.  I have an extremely difficult time forgiving people.  Or I will let you in but keep a huge wall in between us so I won’t get hurt again.

One of my walls is everything is personal.  Meaning everything which happens is ultimately because I am a bad person.  So I have been trying this year to squash this.  I will react as I always have and then come back at a later point and say ok let me tell you the story I told  myself in that moment.  Is that what you meant?  And you know what.  It never is.  I am never the reason someone is reacting. They are telling themselves their own story and reacting off of their own story.  This brings us to rule 2.

Live in the moment, for each one is precious and not to be squandered.

I live in the future, I live in the past.  So much over this year I have focused on living in the now.  This is super difficult but my daughter is the first to knock me into the present.  She gives you this look like hello; I am the only thing which matters and playing with this ball right now.  And she is right.  As hard as it is to have a mirror all day everyday she is at least the cutest little mirror ever made. 

Take care of yourself, first and foremost! 

I am a peacekeeper.  Meaning I generally push myself to the bottom of everything to ensure everyone else is happy.  But this year I have begun to find my voice.  I have begun to put my needs first.  This has been ugly let me assure you.  I have a mother in law I barely speak with, a husband who is learning hard lessons, and friends who completely don’t understand me.  But I feel good for the first time in years.  Although this is really rule number 3 this has been my main focus this year. 

Drop the ego.  Be real.  And watch what happens.

This rule I think I do.  (For the most part, if I feel really comfortable with you and know you are real.)  I am real.  I never beat around the bush when I talk to people.  I am very authentic.  I hate political correctness.  Just tell me straight up what you are thinking.  I just want to hear it.  It might be painful to hear but the truth is never hurtful.  People who are fully of the ego don’t know how to deal with people who are real.  I have seen my friendships grow by being super real with people.  Also I see people shy away when I am super real because they are not ready for it.

All things are possible all of the time.

I am a huge believer in this.  You just have to be willing to work for what you truly want.  The trick is knowing what you truly want.  Some people think the really know what they want and then they get it and not enough thought was given to what they really wanted so they are miserable.  So definitely be careful what you wish for.  I am fortunate enough to be a person whose dreams all came true and am learning to dream bigger.

Maintain Universal Flow.  When someone gives, it is an act of generosity to receive.   For in the giving, there is something gained. 

I am a huge giver.  Anyone who knows me knows this.  I think it is definitely better to give.  But I am a horrible receiver.  I think it is too much and I am unworthy of it.  So I need to remember this to keep my balance as well.